WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
