So drunk its hurt
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
