I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
