doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
