How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
