I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
