its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're like the curious george of whores
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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