she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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