was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
