Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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