i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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