everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
