did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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