Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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