this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
