There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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