I understand Curling. That high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
