i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
