You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
