That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
