im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
