i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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