Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
