we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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