At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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