11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
