Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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