I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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