I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
