ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
