Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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