question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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