He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
