I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
