why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
