your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
