do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
