TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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