I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
