Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
