It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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