apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
