so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Green mimosas i think yes
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
