I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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