I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
