I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
