Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
high people should be assigned attendants
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
