We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
