I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
