the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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